Your Teen Says That They Want to Serve…Now What?

As a tactical fitness coach, I’ve helped thousands of young men and women prepare for the military, special operations, and other tactical jobs.  If your teenager has the drive to serve, your role as a parent is crucial. Here is my long list of ways you can set them up for success without getting in their way. 

Your teenager wants to serve. They want to join the military, special operations, or become a first responder. As a parent, this news can bring both pride and worry. Let me tell you from experience: no two journeys are the same. Between navigating recruitment, passing strict fitness tests, acing the ASVAB or OAR, and surviving medical screenings, the pipeline is a massive grind.

Here is how I have had these discussions with thousands of recruits and candidates over the last 25 years. Not just people I coach, but my own kids and family members who have had the calling to serve in some way (police, military, fire fighter/EMT). Here is a step-by-step breakdown of how you can best support your teen.

My first piece of advice is to change nothing if your teenager is already training, playing sports, and participating in team activities, including clubs, band, and other social/school events. The primary focus is on being a kid, staying involved in team activities, maintaining clean records (no criminal issues, drugs, or DUIs), and working hard in school. For the most part, this is normal parenting. However, as the age to finish high school approaches, the discussion needs to become more specific. Do you join after high school? Attend college? When do you start talking to a recruiter?

Even though high school is almost over and your child is 18 years old, there is STILL no need to be in a hurry. There will never be a time while your son or daughter is in their teens when anyone will say, “Sorry, it is too late to join.” In fact, depending on the job you are doing, you may need more time to train, mature, and finish college. Think of the age to join these jobs not as a tight window limited to the teens, but a huge barn door that lasts for decades. Yes, there are people in their 30s and even 40s who are signing up to serve across the tactical professions each year.

I think one of the biggest mistakes teens make is thinking that if they graduate high school in May, they should be leaving to join the military in June. Depending on your current situation, that may be the right answer, but if you are seeking a job that is challenging and requires higher fitness/ASVAB standards, you may need more time not just to surpass the entrance standards (PST, IFT, etc.) but to prepare for what is to follow. Instead of developing an arbitrary timeline that may prevent you from preparing properly, just go when you are READY! If you are seeking something in the special operations world, the high attrition rates are riddled with teenagers who “thought” they were ready.

#1 Rule: Do NOT talk to a recruiter until you meet the standards for the physical fitness test. For special ops candidates, these means elevated standards way beyond the minimums. For instance, my candidates who train with me do not go to the recruiter until they are hitting sub-9 minutes on the 1.5-mile run and the 500 yd swim, and can do 80-100 push-ups/sit-ups and 20 pull-ups. Think of this test as a job interview, not some test that you can fail a dozen times before you barely pass it and then go off to serve in a job that is going to be infinitely tougher than just a fitness test. You need time to train to get THROUGH that training too! If you follow this rule, you are not on the recruiter’s timeline to ship you out once you ace the test; you still have time in the Delayed Entry Program to prepare for much more challenging events of future training.

The Essential Checklist for Parents

After my number one rule, it is still a long way before you need to talk to a recruiter. Here are the following recommendations I make for both teens and their parents:  

• Stay in school and study hard: Good grades offer more career options, college scholarships, and pathways to direct officer commissions if that is what you want to do.
• Be a kid and learn to work with others: Team sports, clubs, band, and other social / group activities build essential intangible skills, cooperation, and peer leadership. Get involved and practice these skills years before joining the tactical professions.
• Protect your record: Avoid drugs, alcohol, and criminal infractions (including DUIs), which can permanently disqualify applicants. These waivers are difficult to get and are often unsuccessful. You can still try, and you might get lucky if recruiting numbers are low, but even then, there are entry standards for a reason.

Focus on Physical Fitness

Tactical professions are physically demanding. Your teen must treat fitness as an important requirement of the job. In fact, fitness can be a determining factor in how well you perform your job and tactics. Consider the following:

Evolving into a Tactical Athlete (From Sports) - Physical preparation should transition gradually from sports into functional tactical fitness and proper recovery. The goal once you are focused on preparing for the tactical profession is to start getting GOOD AT EVERYTHING. This means strength, power, speed, agility, endurance, muscle stamina, flexibility, mobility, grip. Getting good at all these builds durability and work capacity and takes time, which you will need for long days/nights of hard training. See diagram below:

This can take time, depending on the pre-recruit's strengths and weaknesses. See my Assessment Tool article for more than forty different measured events, and you can compare recommended numbers with hundreds who have gone before you and successfully made it through their special operations programs.

·      Follow a two-phase approach: Phase one is about crushing the initial physical screening test to get accepted; phase two focuses on building the functional durability, work capacity, and mental resilience required to graduate grueling advanced training and selection programs. Two-Part Tactical Fitness Course

• Build a base: Encourage daily movement, strength training, and cardio. You can prioritize sports training, but any missed fitness components should be addressed during the off-season. For instance, if you run but need to improve your swimming, add swimming during the off-season. Get on a program that covers all the elements of tactical fitness. Or, select a program specific to your goals.
  
  
  
• Test early: Have them practice the specific fitness test for their chosen branch. This should be part of a workout regimen, so you know you can ace the test even on a bad day. Once you learn what other events you need to prepare for, start building up to those. (Longer swims with fins, rucking 12 miles, running 4-6 miles, pool skills, and much more).
  
  

• Focus on Weaknesses: We all have them as we begin this preparation journey. Doing things that you are not good at doing is hard, but it must be part of your training. For instance, if they are a cross-country runner, they need to hit the weights. If they are a powerlifter, they need to run and swim. Balance is critical to becoming a tactical athlete – GOOD AT EVERYTHING. Having any weakness will be exposed in the first few days of training.
  
  
  
  
• Prioritize Recovery: Teach them immediately that sleep, proper nutrition, and hydration (and smart training) are just as important to success. For the athlete, recovery is key to optimal performance and to longevity.

Navigate the Recruitment Process

Talk to Recruiters Together: Go with them to the recruiter's office but let your teen do the talking. You are there as a second set of ears, not their spokesperson. Once again, do not be in a hurry to join just because you are 18. Recruiters are talent scouts for the military. Your job is to be an informed partner, so look through ALL of the hundreds of job skills training offered by each branch of the military on their official websites.

• Get it in writing: Ensure any promises made (like signing bonuses or specific job options) are explicitly stated in the contract.
  
• Explore all branches: Compare the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard, and Space Force.
• Prepare for academic tests: Fitness is only half the battle. Your teen must qualify academically.
• Study for the ASVAB: The Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery is for enlisted roles.
• Study for the OAR/ASTB: The Officer Aptitude Rating is for officer pathways if going to OCS. If considering a Service Academy or ROTC, those require a different college scholarship process and are highly selective.
• Boost scores: Use study guides and practice tests early to open better job options.

Get Ahead of Medical Records: The military’s medical screening system is incredibly thorough today. Gather records for past surgeries, broken bones, or medications early. Medical waivers take time, so do not hide things. The Department of Defense Medical Examination Review Board (DoDMERB) or MEPS will review everything.

• Gather records: Collect paperwork for past surgeries, broken bones, or ailments.
• Be honest: Fully disclose your medical history to avoid future disqualification.
• Track prescriptions: Know that certain past medications (like ADHD meds) require specific timelines for being off the drug before joining.
• There is a long list of what issues are medically disqualifying, but many allow waivers. 

How to Learn More

Make sure to check out all official military, law enforcement, firefighter recruitment websites first. Then if you ever run into roadblocks or questions, you can email me at stew@stewsmithfitness..com. If I do not know the answer, I will ask one of the local recruiters who trains with our group every day. You can also jump onto my LIVE Q&A sessions on YouTube, Instagram, or Facebook, and just ask. I do them at 9 am Eastern Time Monday, Tuesday, and Friday. Happy to assist as I answer emails on this topic from parents and recruits all the time.

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